The only release from the tensions we weave around nothing is to remain a creature of the heart. We can perceive silence as rejection in an instant, and then build a cold castle on that tiny imagined brick. Our minds work very hard to make something out of nothing. Being human, we sometimes fill these spaces with worry, or we imagine the silence is some form of punishment, or we internalize the time we are not in touch with a loved one as some unexpressed change of heart. “Just as life is made up of day and night, and song is made up of music and silence, friendships, because they are of this world, are also made up of times of being in touch and spaces in-between. The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have When feeling a splinter, we must, while trying to remove it, remember there is a body that is not splinter, and a spirit that is not splinter, and a world that is not splinter.” So, when feeling miserable, we must look wider than what hurts. In actuality, misery is a moment of suffering allowed to become everything. When our view shuts down, we’re up in the night annoyed by the way our lover pulls the covers or leaves the dishes in the sink without soaking them first. We forget the comfort of first being seen and held and heard. We forget first beholding the beauty of another. We forget when we were lonely, dreaming of a partner. When we narrow our focus, the problem seems everything. But somehow, through the living of our days, our focus narrows like a camera that shutters down, cropping out the horizon, and one day we’re miffed at a diner because the eggs are runny or the hash isn’t seasoned just the way we like. In truth, we begin taking nothing for granted, grateful that we have enough to eat, that we are well enough to eat. It is the giving over to smallness that opens us to misery.
Our vigilance becomes: Which defines our day-the pinch we feel in walking on a bruised toe, or the miracle still happening? With every step, we are reminded of our poor little toe. Now, for a day or two, it is difficult to walk. Then we stub our toe, and in that moment of pain, the whole world is reduced to our poor little toe. Then misery stems from a loss of perspective.
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